Gift for an older sibling when the new baby arrives: make them the main character

What the older one needs from a present

Visitors often bring something for the baby, and sometimes a small present for the older one too.

Most of the advice for this stage is about things you do with them. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests giving them jobs, like helping get things ready for the baby or helping at bath time, so they feel they've got a part to play. It also says to let them know it'll be a while before the baby can play with them.

The usual presents, and what they're good for

A baby doll is the classic one, especially for a toddler. They get a baby of their own to feed and wrap up while you're doing the same with the real one.

A picture book about a new baby coming is good in the weeks before the birth. It's something to read together, and it gives you a way into talking about what's going to change.

You can also get storybooks with their name printed into the story, so they're the one it's about. And a photo book of them is something to look through with you.

Why I'd make them a personalised colouring book

Their baby photos are where I'd start. NHS 111 Wales already suggests getting them out to show them, along with their old toys. Toodaloo books turn 20 photos into 20 colouring pages, each one a line drawing of the photo itself rather than a cartoon version. With photos of them as a baby, next to the bump and then next to the new one, they're on every page.

The baby's in some of the pictures, but the older one is in all of them, and it's their book to colour. I think that helps them see all this as their chance to be the big one, and the baby as someone to play with one day, even if that's a while off yet. Colouring it is something to do sitting next to you, maybe while the baby sleeps.

If you'd rather keep the photos as photos, a photo book is the better pick.

Which photos to use

Most families won't have 20 photos of the bump and the baby, so top up with everyday ones of the older child: at the park, in the bath, building something on the living room floor. Photos where they fill most of the frame make them the subject of the page. From further away, the lines mostly come from whatever's behind them.

A photo with less going on gives a page with fewer, bigger shapes, which suits a 2 or 3 year old who wants to finish a page. They don't have to colour every small shape anyway. Our guide to what age children colour inside the lines has more on what a younger child can manage.

You see every page before you pay and can swap any photo you'd rather not use. Our guide to the photos that make the best colouring pages shows how different photos turn out.

Getting it there in time

If you make it before the birth, you've got the bump photos and their baby photos, and it can be ready for the day they meet the baby. If you wait, you can put in the first photos of the two of them. Books are posted the next working day and usually arrive in 3-4 working days. Due dates move, so order a little ahead if you want it there on the day.

If they'll be at their grandparents' when the baby comes, put that address in at checkout and it goes straight there, with no price or receipt in the parcel. There's a message page at the front too, so the book can come from the baby if that's something your family does.

Our new baby covers include Big Brother, Big Sister and Big Kid Superhero, and you give it a title of your own, like their name.